Immanentize the Eschaton

The wife invited some friends and their kids over last night for the premiere of American Idol. It seemed to me that way too much was made of the fact that “we have a new judge!” It was too long. And Idol committed the (to me) unpardonable offense: they only showed a handful of the horrible/hilarious auditions! If one is not a fan of modern pop music, those auditions are the only reason to watch (at least as far as the show itself is concerned; hanging with the family is another reason to watch, but that has nothing to do with the show). One of the joys of the show is watching the kids who have obviously been told they sing like angels (lest the truth damage their fragile self-esteem) get kicked in the nuts by reality. Bring this back!

I was annoyed by the treatment of the “crying rock star” (can’t remember his name) who had never performed in public or worked with a band. He did not have a great voice (he was merely adequate), did not have much stage presence, chose to sing a bad Bon Jovi song, AND cried and begged, but to get on him because he “hasn’t put in the hard work,” to quote Abdul the Fool and Kara not Kahrah, is absurd. Very few of the kids they send to “Hollywood” have out in the kind of work they’re talking about. Furthermore, they didn’t hold that against one of the final contestants they showed, the nerdy guy who “taught himself to sing in his closet.” His lack of “the hard work” didn’t prevent the judges from sending him on, and his voice was not that much better than CRS’s. Maybe it was because el nerdo allowed Cowell to make a crack about “coming out of the closet.”

Which brings up another disappointment: the producers have reined in Cowell. His acid comments during the auditions are worth the price of admission (in this case, 2 hours of over-hyped TV). Ever since Cowell treated that retarded Special Olympian just like he treats everyone else, and Rosie O’Donnell got her knickers in a twist about Simon being “mean”, he’s toned down his comments. We need the old Cowell for the audition shows to work!

One other comment: why doesn’t anyone ever sing “Renegade” (the old Styx song? If you can pull it off, you’ll be in! Or someone could try an old Sam Cooke tune, or something by Southside Johnny (“The Fever” or “Wait in Vain” will work). Anything where the emphasis is on a clear, heartfelt melody and not on vocal gymnastics!

I don’t look forward to the rest of the series, but if I want to see my family on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I’ll watch with them. Pray for me.